Dating is a game that requires the ability to think on your feet, woo your chosen partner based on current trends, and, of course, a healthy dose of good luck. However, there are a few timeless rules of dating that haven’t seem to have changed much over the many millennia since people started courting as a thing (as opposed to simply stealing them from a rival tribe during a raiding party). We are going to examine a few healthy dating options that we have deemed to be healthy in our current society and see what it means to find true love in a world where finding anything true seems to be a challenge.
Respect: Foundation Of Any Relationship
Respect is often described as something that is earned and not given. While this is true in certain aspects of life, when it comes to something as complex as dating, you need to give respect to the other person before they are willing to engage with you on a personal level. This is true whether you’re conversing on an online dating site or have already made the jump to meeting in person…when you allow the other person time to speak and present themselves as they wish to be seen, you will get a far better opinion of them, and they of you. Respect in dating begins and ends with the understanding that you are both equal in this relationship. However, this does come with some caveats (as does everything in life!). Firstly, you should be the one to initiate the giving of respect, which isn’t open to your interpretation of whether they deserve respect. In other words, you should come at it from a position that unless they are utterly not what you thought they would be (or lied in their profiles), it’s always best to offer them the chance to both receive your respect and, in turn, reciprocate when opportune. Secondly, if you are unable to show them any respect for whatever reason, or they are simply unwilling to believe you are equals, then it is often best to move on rather than waste your time with someone who you will either never respect or is unable to treat you with the same feelings you offer them.
Communication: Key To Understanding Feelings
If you are unable to communicate adequately with your date, your relationship may be doomed from the very start. Discussing things really is the bedrock of any long-lasting connection as it opens you up to one another, often in highly intimate ways.
By allowing yourself to speak freely to your partner, you will get the measure of who they are, allow them to get to know you, and hopefully, end up in a position where you both understand each other enough to continue dating. To be fair, when you’re both in the thralls of the entail stages of dating, free and easy communication might come so easily, but you ought to put your best foot forward if you’re enjoying your time with the other persona and would like to take things to another level. However, just make sure that any communication you do have is open and honest, and never try to hide behind a lie, leading nicely onto the next point…
Honesty: Builds Trust And Transparency
A dishonest relationship is doomed to failure and, in some extreme cases, can lead to a seriously toxic situation where no one is happy, and arguments abound. Honesty should begin when you’re on the dating app and creating your profile. Lying at this early stage will only set out what will become a deeper web of lies that leaves everyone hurt. Therefore, avoid wasting everyone’s time and be truthful when choosing how to present yourself. You want the other person to seek to understand the real you rather than whatever it is that you’re lying about. Most folks will fall into the trap of thinking that in order to collect as many matches as possible, they need to big themselves up disproportionately to what they are in real life. Moreover, aside from the emotional damage it can cause, you really don’t want to hit it off with someone only to find out that they are in love with an entirely fictional version of yourself that you could never possibly hope to live up to. Be open, honest, and proud of who you are and what you enjoy, and the rest will fall into place.
Boundaries: Essential For Personal Space
We’ve all seen the movies of an overbearing man or woman who is so jealous of others snatching away the new love that they grasp onto them too tightly. So tightly so, in fact, that it causes serious relationship issues that will set the tone for things to come. You always need to remember that you are both coming into this new situation with baggage and that you both have previous lives and loves that existed long before you met one another. If you are unable to allow your new date the space they require to live comfortably, you will never hit it off successfully and constantly live in an anguished and envious state.
Obviously, you both need to prove that you’re worthy of being trusted, which comes from the previously mentioned points, but if you are unable to appreciate the boundaries of your date, it will be challenging to continue. These boundaries can manifest in a range of ways, from not wanting to consummate the partnership too early to simply wanting to take things slowly until you better know each other.
Empathy: Understanding Each Other’s Perspectives
Empathy for another is a very human trait, but one that can quickly become left for dead when you are unable to see things from their perspective. For example, your date might want to take things slower than you are used to, which could be frustrating for you. But if you realize the reasons behind this desire, you can better understand where they’re coming from. This will help develop a far better relationship over time and ensure that everyone is on the same page.
Conflict Resolution: Handle Disagreements Constructively
Not everything will go to plan, and that is perfectly normal. You will always have disagreements that range from mild to more serious, but as long as you know how to deal with them effectively, you can always move through and arrive at a compromise. The key is to ensure that you can handle these conflicts as adults and appreciate each other’s points of view.
Love is a funny old thing that can bring about a vast number of emotions, from sheer, unadulterated happiness and joy to deep depths of depression. As long as you are able to show genuine love and understanding or each other, you can create a relationship that stands the test of time.